Cup Final Game 7 Lost With the MVP in Net

One Game 7 in a Cup Final, 2003 against Jersey, and the Ducks lost it. Their goalie won the playoff MVP anyway. Kid, a guy gets the trophy for the whole party and his team still goes home alone.

Conference Finals Lost, Final Still a Dream

Two conference finals since the Cup, 2015 and 2017, and both ended in a loss. Chicago in seven, Nashville in six. Right at the door, kid, and nobody answered.

Straight Springs Ending in a Game 7 Loss

Four springs in a row, 2013 to 2016, ended in a Game 7 loss. Detroit, LA, Chicago, Nashville. Four times the Ducks got the big finish handed to them and four times it was ovah before the beer got warm.

Quick First-Round Exits, Coat Barely Off

Five first-round exits since the Cup. Dallas in '08, Nashville in '11 and again in '16, Detroit in '13, San Jose in '18. You come all that way and the girl doesn't finish her drink.

Straight Springs Watching From the Couch

Seven straight springs without a playoff game, 2019 to 2025. Seven yeahs, kid. A guy could get outta prison, find God, and open a Dunks in that time.

Missed Playoffs Since the Cup, Flyin' Solo

Nine missed playoffs against two conference finals. Nine to two, kid. That's the guy-to-girl ratio at every Ducks bar night.

Playoff Runs, Zero Trips Back to the Final

Ten playoff runs since the Cup and not one reached the Final. Ten first dates, kid, zero second dates.

Franchises Who Took the Cup Home Instead

Twelve different franchises have won the Cup since the Ducks did in 2007. Vegas showed up in 2017 and won in 2023. Anaheim's had a lot longer than that and one parade.

Regulation Losses in One Season (2023-24)

Fifty regulation losses in 2023-24, a 27-50-5 record. Disneyland's a few miles down the road, and nothin' in the whole park drops as hard as the Ducks did that yeah.

Goals Against in 2022-23, Dead Last in the NHL

Three hundred thirty-five goals against in 2022-23, thirty-second of thirty-two. Dead last in the whole league. The goalies didn't need pads, kid, they needed a lawyer.

Days Since Their Last Stanley Cup

 

The iPhone came out twenty-three days after the Ducks won their Cup. It's been through a dozen models since and the Ducks haven't had one upgrade. Over seven thousand days, kid.

Four Game 7s in four years and the Ducks got stuffed every time

A dim hunting lodge den with four mounted ducks on a wall, each wearing a tiny jersey and a brass plaque reading 2013, 2014, 2015 and 2016, cartoon hunters in Red Wings, Kings, Blackhawks and Predators colors clinking beer mugs below, a lit fireplace and a Cup-shaped trophy on the mantel

Detroit, LA, Chicago, Nashville. Four hunters, four Game 7s, four ducks on the wall. Somebody call the taxidermist, he's got a standin' order.

Participation Trophies

  • Lost the 2003 Stanley Cup Final in Seven Games, With the Playoff MVP in Their Own Net
  • Lost Game 7 Four Springs in a Row, 2013 to 2016 (Detroit, Los Angeles, Chicago, Nashville)
  • Missed the Playoffs Seven Straight Seasons (2018–19 to 2024–25)
  • Finished 2022–23 With 335 Goals Against, 32nd of 32 in the NHL
  • Missed the Playoffs Nine Times Since the 2007 Cup, Against Two Conference Finals

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